Ok, I'm in (Really)

I wasn't sure there for a while. I left off a few months ago wondering whether this blogging thing was for me. You can understand why I waver, can't you?

Blogging is time consuming and comes with no guarantee that you'll touch anybody in the great digital sea. This whole blog thing leaves the self publisher with a lot of questions. Like, why I am I doing this and do I even want to do it?

pushing off the shore

And even if one pushes off from shore anyway in her little hand made, makeshift craft, shouldn't she have some sense of why—and where she's going?

In other words (as I essentially wondered in the last post) shouldn't I approach this project with some kind of purpose—and clarity?


I'm happy to report that in these last few months the thought of closing down my blog made me very said. Yes, I seem to need to repeatedly remind myself, I do want to do this thing.

About four years ago, I discovered the oceanic tides of the blogosphere. As opposed to dipping my toes in now and then on a quick Google stumble, I set out to find blogs that could help me with some questions I had and soon the view of the vast digital seas opened up. I was totally hooked.

Like everyone, at first I had no idea how to find my way from port to port.  By following the winds of great content from one blog to the next, however (I've got a metaphor going here, bear with me!), I finally found...well, a lot of things. I found some amazing bloggers who I still follow. I found inspiration and information and a sense of my own true interests (I have learned so much and even today I continue to learn and be inspired, regularly following almost 75 blogs). I found blogging as a creative outlet. Because you see, it didn't take long before I wanted to create posts of my own, which launched a whole journey of learning how to self publish,  a journey that follows many others before me, I know. I came late to the party.

I wrote my first blog post just over three years ago. I didn't know it then, but that post marked the beginning of a huge transition period in my life that I'm still negotiating. It also marked the beginning of just 50 blog posts (not that many in that time period, I know) on a blog that changed names three times. To say I've been unsure about where this my blogging should take me is an understatement.

old blogs

Yet, while I probably need to tell my story of this transition (in another post), the bottom line is that while learning from blogs (and books, and videos and classes, both online and in person) and learning to blog, I most essentially unburied my greatest interests and passion—creativity, making and expressing stuff—and I dove into learning and experimentation with all kinds of mixed media and I'm having a blast.

And as I unburied my creative self, I also pulled up all those universal challenges that cling like mud to the making or expressing of anything: Self doubt...fear...trust. And while I'm nowhere close to being able to say I've overcome them, I'm committed to learning how. I'm committed to sharing how.

So when I ask myself what purpose is to guide this small boat in this vast sea, the answer is more clear than ever:

Keep going.

Lead with your heart.